Thursday, October 26, 2006

An Okie Returns Home: A Tribute

Wedding season continues (October is the new May) as I am off tomorrow morning to my motherland of Oklahoma to the town of Yukon, home of Garth Brooks (or so the water tower says). I am just an observer at this wedding, however, my date will be a groomsman as the groom is one of his best friends from high school.

While people make fun of Oklahoma a lot, I love my state. There are quite a few “You know yer an okie when” lists, so I threw this one together and only chose those that I agreed with, of course, you people from other flyover states may find some true for you as well. I've also include a picture of one of my favorite okies, my little brother.

-You can pronounce correctly: Hobart, Battiest, Miami, Tahlequah, Chickasha, Alex, Poteau, Oologah, Dougherty, Empire and Talihina.
I can.

-You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feedlot apart.

-It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town.
It’s funny that I actually communte less now that I’m in DC because here my apartment and work and local shopping are all within a ten minute walk. Growing up, school was on one side of town and the Wal-Marts was clear on the other.

-You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn, when they are still on the stalk.
Sure, my grandpa was a farmer. And, let me tell you, there are few things quite as fun as hide and seek in the corn stalks. Of course if you break them, you'll probably get a whippin.

-Football schedules are checked before wedding dates are set.
This was true for several of my best friends from high school, and not just for their guests benefit as several went to OU and OSU and were BIG fans.

-You know cow pies are not made of beef and calf fries have nothing to do with a potato
Sure, and I won’t eat either.

-When little smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.
One of my dearest friends served these at her wedding reception at the Miami Country Club

-You are on a first name basis with the county sheriff.
My dad is. I remember when we were little my dad got pulled over for something silly and he got out of the car and acted like he was really drunk and then went for the cop’s gun. Needless to say, he knows most the cops in town and we got off without a ticket.

-There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for the tornado.
What exciting memories I have from when I was young and the sirens would go off and my whole neighborhood would pull up lawn chairs in our neighbor’s driveway (he had the tornado shelter) and we’d just visit and look up and wait for the wind to calm and the sky to change color (two good signs that a tornado was on its way).

- It doesn't seem odd to see the term "chicken fried chicken" on a menu.
I’m sure most of you have had it with white gravy…I understand my grandma Bessie makes the best in the world. I would also note here that my grandma regularly cooks squirrel, including squirrel gravy (I don't eat that either).

- You have used the phrase "fixin' to" during the last 12 months.
Okay, I don’t really use “fixin” and didn’t growing up (I worked hard to lose my accent when I was young), but it’s certainly a common word around my house. “Yeeaah, we’re fixin go into town and git something from Wal-Mart, ya need anythin?”

- You can remember the last 12 times a state legislator seriously introduced a bill involving castration, and he didn't mean farm animals.
Oklahoma politics are pretty effed up. Between lesbians in the bathroom to kids being trained to use books as shields from bullets, my hard core republican mother is thinking about voting democrat more and more (though there are many, many idiot democrats in the state legislature).

- "Howdy" seems to be a normal way of greeting another adult, with no irony intended.
Of course. And, you smile at everyone you pass on the street. It's rude if you don't. In fact, I'd say just walking around with a smile / happy look is advisable.

- You think that people who complain about the wind in other states are sissies.
Yes, they have no idea. Hell, I didn’t even grow up in the flat part of the state where a below zero temperature and a wind coming at you from hundreds of miles flatland can feel pretty nasty.

- It bothers you not one iota to use an airport named for a man who died in an airplane crash. Ah, Will Rogers World Airport, my travel destination tomorrow, in fact. It should also be noted that Amelia Earhart has a street named after her there as well.

- A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.
I know this is meant to be funny, but I’ve been in several stare downs to be courteous to other drivers.

- You know in which state Miam-uh is and in which state Miam-ee is.
My beloved hometown, I sure as hell do.


Blogger Kathryn Is So Over said...

Someone asked BP & me who gets married in October. EVERYONE, it seems. Enjoy yours. I'll raise a glass to you and the date Saturday night.

And safe travels.

1:58 PM  
Blogger V said...

We've had more weddings than we can attend.

A glass will also be raised to you and yours.

PS I loved the dress you wore to your NC wedding, sigh, I still don't know what I will wear.

2:00 PM  
Blogger WiB said...

Good list. The last one reminds me of the differences in pronunciation of Newark, DE vs. NJ, as we (in DE) used to explain it to the uninitiated:

If it's two syllables, it's DE; one, NJ.

Have a good trip.

2:05 PM  
Blogger KassyK said...

Have the best time. I will be missing ya. And I hear you on loving your home state even if its made fun of CONSTANTLY (ahem, Jersey in the HOUSE) :-)

2:59 PM  
Blogger V said...

wib: Thanks, and that's so funny about DE :)

3:03 PM  
Blogger Bad at Life said...

I have to admit that I know nothing about Oklahoma but I've heard that a form of fishing called "noodling" is big in your home state. I'm not sure how i feel about a state where they fish for giant catfish with their fingers.

Have a good weekend.

3:04 PM  
Blogger V said...

Kassy: Same here, and it sounds like you're going to have a fun weekend!

NJ? You mean the Texas of the East Coast :)

3:04 PM  
Blogger V said...

BAL: It's true! Oh brother does that with his buddies a lot...

3:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

v - I am a victim of checking the OU football schedule for my October wedding. Thanks for the shout out.

After being back in the sooner state last week, I must say that the political ads are going to kill you. One ad in particular boasted that the candidate was supported by the NRA and stands by President Bush. As if those are good things.

3:23 PM  
Blogger Sean said...

OK as a state sounds "fair to middlin". Which is obviously were we got the term "OK". Kind of like San Diego meaning "a whale's vagina". But no one knows for sure. Does your grandmother shoot the squirrels herself? Because that would definitely be OK with me.

3:27 PM  
Blogger V said...

Anon: Love it--but tell me your colors weren't crimson or orange :)

And, I'll try to watch as little TV as possible for just that reason. The bride is from a really conservative christian family so I'm sure I'll be hearing enough about Bush as it is.

Sean: My grandma does have a small gun, but she isn't allowed to shoot it anymore after she took out several of her hanging bird feeders.

3:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No. They were black and pink with pretty bitchin bridesmaid dresses that some people continue to wear to various high profile DC functions. snap.

3:36 PM  
Blogger V said...

Anon: Bitch, why didn't you sign in...I thought you were just another okie!

And, of all six of the bridesmaid dresses I've worn, yours has been the only one I've worn again (and again) because it is a fab dress.

PS Was the grooms cake OU related?

3:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Proud to be an Okie from Muskoge A place where even squares can have a ball.


4:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd love to visit Oklahoma (mostly Oklamhoma city) and Texas more than just about any place I haven't been in this country. I think I'd like it.

4:05 PM  
Blogger V said...

Anon: It's actually a really pretty state. I'm from the Northeastern part of the state where it's very green and there are some great lakes and rivers. As you go West, you'll see more "orange dirt" and pine trees, and flat land. Tulsa is a great city to visit (nice art museums and fun shopping and bars) and OK City is okay (Bricktown). I'd also recomend you check out Route 66 and be sure to stop at the Coleman Theater in Miami :)

Like a true Okie, I have nothing good to say about Texas other than I HEAR Austin is tolerable and the beach is fine.

4:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As one from the flat part (Norman) I can attest to the misery commonly called wind. Also, being an OU alum, the fall weddings I get invited to always fall on the same day (I made it to four in one day once) as they all pick the football bye week.

And finally, sweet corn straight off the stalk is one of the best tasting things in the world!

6:11 PM  
Blogger TKR said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:47 PM  
Blogger TKR said...

As an Okie and Sooner fan in Austin, I can safely say it sucks here. Also, the wedding I was part of in August was planned to take place before the season started and the groom's cake was in fact OU related. I've also been to an Oklahoma wedding where the groom's cake was OSU related.

6:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yukon is also the home of Cross Canadian Ragweed. They're a kick ass rock-ish band.

7:13 PM  
Blogger V said...

Anon 7:11: 4 in one day! Damn, that's a serious wedding record.

tkr: I knew it!! I knew Texans just clung to Austin and propped it up for no good reason.

Anon 8:13: CCR is kick ass, I saw them play and was so impressed (I think I posted about it actually). They mix country with 90s rock, it's effing sweet. Maybe they'll be at the wedding :)

9:04 AM  
Anonymous Sally said...

Whatever, you sooners are just jealous because you LOST...AGAIN and your traitor running back broke his collarbone trying to look hot-shot for his inmate father.


Have fun this weekend, V.

P.S. Weddings during football season - seriously, what groom agrees to that?

10:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First of all Sister its "Chicken Fried Steak," and if you havent talked to mom today which its Mon. the 30th, I shot a nine point buck Sunday, out at Wisemans hill. We gutted it in front of babes pin. I'll have jerky, summer sausage and back strap steaks ready for you hopefully by turkey day.

12:01 PM  
Blogger dn said...

You may have missed it, but I noticed one of the wedding coordinators announced she was, "fixin' to open the door" of the sanctuary just before the ceremony began.

It was fun, but I'm glad to be out of Yukon.

7:52 PM  

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