When we insulate OR It's Not A River In Egypt
I directed my first play when I was in the fifth grade. The other director who was helping me explained something about directing, he said, “Everything that you do as a director or actor is based on choice. And, you are able to choose from whatever abilities and gifts that you have been given and skills you have developed and experiences you have learned from and taken with you. Hopefully, you will make choices that move and affect people who are watching your work.”
Subsequently, the idea of choice has always been an interesting one to me. I try to be a student of human behavior. And, what fascinates me time and time again (and something I've been thinking a lot about lately) is how well we are at lying to ourselves and escaping to a place where we create reality.
Escapism allows us to indulge ourselves more than we should. In a lesser form, I would put off a project at work, uncomfortable conversation with a friend or paper in college. But escapism can also be very dangerous in our relationships. We cling to little ideas or hopes and miss the larger picture. We make ourselves believe that something is what it isn’t or isn’t what it really is.
I have seen people close to me go through this dance time and time again. They tell themselves what they had was more than it really was. They ignored the reality of the relationship, of how that person was acting or what things would be like if they continued on the present course. And, despite the fact that the truth of it had always been there, they are able to insulate themselves so deep that it feels like a total shock when suddenly the reality forces itself on them.
And, partly it hurts because something you love is irreparably broken, but it’s also because you’ve known for a long time and only now can admit it.
Circle V Note: Per usual with my little blog, this has nothing to do with me, my friendships or any particular relationship, I've just been seeing this more and more lately and thought I'd finally post about it.