Hipster Watching: They’re Just Like Us! AND New Hipster Watching Game
Last night I had drinks with a girlfriend of mine at the oooo sooo Hipster Townhouse Tavern on R and 17th. I love that place (it’s totally deck) as the music is good and the PBR is cheap (natch).
And, aside from a lot of fun conversations with my friend, I also really enjoyed one of my favorite pastimes, Hipster Watching. It’s very similar to bird watching, only more oriented toward dress and behavior.
There are several great bars in DC for Hipster Watching, including Townhouse Tavern and the Brickskeller (Dupont), Wonderland (Columbia Heights) and the Raven (Mount Pleasant) and Toledo Lounge (Adams Morgan). There may be others, but these are just the ones where I regularly hit.
Last night I witnessed one of my all time favorite Hipster Watching occurrences, the Hipster Hook up.
God, it was so cute. They were drinking PBR, playing some card game (I’m guessing EUCHRE ) and flirting like crazy. He had on the usual tee shirt, shaggy hair, jeans, white socks and tenni of some kind. She was a vision in a blue 1950s vintage top straight out of the suburbs with a big round collar and everything, knee length black shirt, shaggy bangs, short hair cut and cute little black flats from the 80s.
I liked this couple because they were totally digging each other, but a la the norm dance of love, it took a little more booze before there was leg rubbing and flirtatious touching.
For your Hipster Watching pleasure, I have created (with the help of Jack Serpentine and Jake Barnes) a Hipster Watching Game.
Points are given for each of these common Hipster experiences:
1. Hipster girl with unshaven legs (one point)
2. Hipster guy with glasses that have tape in middle though glasses are not broken (you have to check) (two points)
3. A homemade tee shirt referring to the bar/event/concert you are attending (two points)
4. Hot Hipster girl glares at you from across the room (one point)
5. Hipster get wasted on PBR (one point)
6. Listen to Hipster explain recent philosophical awakening (four points)
7. Circle of hipster girls remember days at liberal arts college; look at book they made that includes poetry and sketches about vaginas (six points)
8. You listen to hipster discuss playing any of the following instruments: Steel drums, banjo, kazoo, symbol, bass guitar, harmonica or tuba. (One point for each)
9. Hipster describes their college as small (one point), liberal arts (one point) school in Midwestern (two points); eastern (one point), western (three points) United States where they could just chill (one point), work on his/her art (two points), think about where he/she was going (three points), or slow down (no points)
10. Despite the fact that they now live in DC or NYC, they think their small, boring hometown is the best place on earth (three points)
11. Hipster explains that this bar is the only place where he/she "feels comfortable" (1 point)
12. Despite having a LARGE trust fund, they only use pay phones and never make rent (three points)
13. Discuss recent patterns on http://craftster.org/ (two points)
14. They call anything “too corporate” (one point each)
15. They bring a large shoulder strap bag to the bar (one for each) homemade button, sharpie written word, sticker of ambiguous band or skateboard company, glitter doodle or food stain.
16. Hipster doesn't say a word (1 point for each 30 minutes of silence)
17. They have never heard of the Hipster Handbook (three points), but continue to use words from the Hipster Handbook (one point for each term used) and additional point when “like” proceeds word.
18. Laugh at you if you assume they listen to Emo; it’s so passé (two points) but are wearing an obscure Bright Eyes tee-shirt (three points) or you at a Bright Eyes show (six points)
19. Do some slam-hippies style dancing (three points) with PBR in hand (add two points)
20. Hipster explains that item of clothing/accessory was given to him/her by his/her grandfather/mother/aunt/uncle (1 point, 5 points if story is clearly erroneous, like an ipod)
21. Hipster explain that he/she found item of clothing/accessory on the street (1 point) if word "gutter" is used instead of "street" (2 points)
23. Male hipster with Asian girlfriend (2 points) and overhear them discussing their three story walk-up in Brooklyn (four points)
24. Hipster casually refers to (a) book he/she is writing; (b) film he/she is directing; or (c) model girlfriend (not boyfriend) (1 point each, -5 points if female "hipster" mentions a model boyfriend) Hipster explains that, while he/she has a shoot in the morning, he/she would rather be taking photographs (1 point)