Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Hey Sexy, What's Your Sign?

While I don’t like admitting Paris Hilton was my muse today, I did find this little article about her of interest, it read:

Paris Hilton blames her wild lifestyle on the zodiac.

The 'Pledge This!' actress - famed for her love of late nights and clubs - insists her star sign is the reason she is such a party animal.

She explained: "I don't know how I keep going to all these parties. I think it's because I am an Aquarius. We Aquarians have a lot of energy."

Sing it, sista.

So, if you've ever spoken to me for more than ten minutes at a time, you probably heard me ask, "What's your sign?" Now, I probably wasn't hitting on you; I just am one of "those people” who believes in astrology.

And, yeah, I'm a pretty smart girl, and I understand that it's fairly stupid to think the day/month/time that you were born would have any more implication on your personality than the name of the doctor that delivered you, but I only tells it hows I sees it, and I am telling you it does matter.

I have a couple friends that think I'm all out stupid for believing in astrology. And, I would think so as well if I just believed it for no reason.
But, time and time and time again, I have seen certain behavior fit the same people within a sign.
I just look for commonalities in behavior and personality and I file it away. I usually see my "theory" that it's because they are a Taurus or whatever validated when sho nuff someone of the same sign does the same thing. I’m not talking things like “You’re really nice and like people” but personality things.

Some signs I am more familiar with (Pisces, Taurus, Aquarius, Scorpio, or Sag) and other signs I know a few details as well. One of my favorite things to do when meeting someone is to find out their sign and describe general characteristics about that person—I'd say easily 9 times outta 10, I have people really impressed with these little descriptions.

Let me list some of the things I have found to be true in many cases (like those caveats)--you can agree or disagree, but I'm just sayin:

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
These fish are as smart as they are emotionally sensitive. They don’t like to disagree with you unless it’s a debate about an issue. It’s kind of like the image of someone crying and knowing they shouldn’t, but they are anyway. They are prone to being lonely, but are particular about the company they keep for an extended period of time. It's pretty rare for anyone to not like a Pisces as they are very agreeable and caring.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
These lovely little crazies are obsessed with the future. Their classic phrase is “what’s next” because if they don’t have something cooking on the horizon they are not satisfied. Certainly not in the moment people, they are highly competitive and prone to emotional vulnerability. They are also a bit selfish and while they recognize their own fault in a relationship, they don’t like to admit it to anyone or correct it.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
It’s no coincidence that this sign’s symbol is the bull because they will not listen or change for anyone unless THEY are ready or willing. Something I’ve found to be often misunderstood about this sign is that they have a great emotional capacity for understanding and actually make great (thought sometimes selfish) friends. A Taurus is also prone to being narcissistic and escapist, which can be a lot of fun, but takes an emotional toll on those who love him or her.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
Okay, this is my sign and I think it’s the best sign (which is exactly what an Aquarius would say). Though our symbol is the water bearer, we are most definitely an air sign. We are emotionally detached in the sense that we rarely are emotionally attached to any situation. Give us one nights sleep and most of the anger will be gone. We are outgoing to a fault and are generally confident about ourselves and our own abilities. We can also be assholes because few things bother us and we assume that others are the same way.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
These bad boys are some complex mofos. While they care a great deal for those in their life, they also have problems forming long-term relationships due to their uncanny ability to check out of any situation due to a very strong sense of self. Their symbol of a scorpion is not just the idea of a stinger (strong temper), it’s that once you cross them, you will always pay for it. They are also intelligent and serious about their work and life. They often are too trusting of people when they first meet them, but usually can pick up on it after they realize something is not right (don't even try to tell them).

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):
As a fire sign, Leos are often the life of the party as they are confident and have a serious love of fun. I have found, however, that Leos are often vulnerable in friendships and relationships due to their open and honest nature. One of the worst scenarios for a Leo is to be in a relationship with someone that is control or dominating because that can really eff them up. However, a definite positive of the sign is that they don’t take it for long and are usually happy to kick manipulators to the curb.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
The dual sign is equal parts masculine and feminine. A Gemini has many emotional vulnerabilities, but many masculine traits as well. It’s a particularly interesting sign because while friendships and relationships can be quite nurturing, they can also cold and dominating if the Gemini does not get his or her way. I have found them to be extremely creative and independent, and only happy when “doing their own thing” without the usual structures and restraints of a workplace.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
This is a straight up no-nonsense sign when it comes to intelligence and absolute silly sign when it comes to personality. They take their intellect extremely serious, and have trouble respecting people who they would consider, well, stupid. In social situations they often don’t have much regard the status quo and usually do whatever it is that interests them, particularly because they tend to be on the vain side. A classic example of a Virgo would be a former-friend who worked on policy and spreadsheets all day and then came home to two stinky, but beloved ferrets--smart and serious in intellect, but totally goofy in personalitiy.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):
They are nurturers and have their own concerns last on the list. I have seen Cancers emotionally exhaust themselves time and time again on a high maintenance friend or relationship. They are very appreciative people and aside from never missing your birthday, they also have a tremendous amount of gratitude for any kindness you give them. Downsides include letting their emotions control them to the point of being irrational though they often pride themselves on being levelheaded, it usually is not the case.

ARIES (March 21-April 19):
Aries people are headstrong and usually ready to be a pioneer, which includes rush into things before reflecting. They often dominate the conversation and have a strong will. An Aries will have a seriousl and constant need for love and affection and usually, attention. Most of them that I have known are idealists and feel more comfortable looking at the positive.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
Librans usually have a lot of class and self respect. They are always struggling with a particular decision or conflict as it's their nature to balance rather than choose. Some of the strongest people I know have been Libras, and also very good at adapting in a particular situation.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
I have only known a couple Capricorns and while both do have some similarities (strong willed, confident) I have also observed a listlessness in their nature. There is a quality that makes life happen to them instead of them making choices that result in their present situation. I would also say that they are known as leaders and associated with public figures, and I would agree with that as those that I know are most often looked to in stressful situations.


Blogger KassyK said...

Ahh I am with you!! And did you know you are one of my sex matches Miss V...I'm a Sag and have a lot of Sag traits...super independent, philosphical, optimistic, opinionated and blunt. The good and the bad--I have most of those traits and most of the guys I meet that are certain signs hold a lot of the same traits as well...Interesting that I have never dated a sign though that is my "match"...

I actually have a friend that reads cards and one that is zodiac obsessed. Both frequent my blog...:-)

1:55 PM  
Blogger I-66 said...

But what about those of us who are on the proverbial cusp?

2:03 PM  
Anonymous Sweet said...

See I'm glad to have the same sign as a sassy gal like yourself, but knowing that I share it with Paris is a wee bit appalling.

2:07 PM  
Blogger V said...

Kassy: Oh yes, I love me some Sags

i-66: I have found w/ cusps that they do have a more dominant sign and a few aspects of the other

Sweet: Don't you just love it--I mean Paris is a total, but she has managed to keep herself in the spotlight despite being stupid and annoying...

2:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, I'm Cancer (which is what I will probably die of), and it says I am not usually levelheaded. That is bullshit! I am levelheaded, damnit! What the fuck! It takes a lot for me to get upset. I am calm and cool, for fuck sake!

hee hee

2:26 PM  
Blogger Kathryn Is So Over said...

You know I'm a Leo, and you know that's me to a fault. We're lions, but we're tenderhearted. Cowardly Lions, if you will.

Biggest relationships were two Pisces, an Aries, one on the cusp of the two, and a Sag.

The fish and the cusp were all too wimpy and antisocial for me, though smart and sensitive.

The Sag was just as you describe... and the Aries was a cheating sack of shit. I think you forgot that part. ;)

Bring on my Aquarius... Big Poppa is one, you know.

2:30 PM  
Blogger KassyK said...

I've dated a Pisces seriously and we were a weird match and I've hooked up with about 15 Geminis. Apparently we are opposites and mates. I don't think I've ever dated another sign lol. So sad.

2:39 PM  
Blogger KassyK said...

OH wait...I've dated a Scorpio in the past...TERRIBLE match for me...AHHH memories...

2:40 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

I am a taurus. Astrology is BS, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

2:43 PM  
Anonymous etcetera said...

v, can you please advise as to particularly compatible or particularly ill-advised match-ups for the astrology-ignorant among us? (that's me.) if you wanted to start with Sags, that would be cool. thanks.

2:46 PM  
Blogger Ashburnite said...

I am a total pisces! Everything I've read about pisceans hits the nail on the head. emotional? yep. jealous? unfortunately. caring? too much so. lonely? always.

2:49 PM  
Blogger Miss Scarlet said...

I actually have the same birthday as Paris:) I like her though, she's hilarious on The Simple Life. And I'm such an Aquarian!

2:49 PM  
Blogger V said...

Chase: You are a total Cancer (as in very caring).

K: Oh, yeah, cheating sack of shit, I'll edit that in :) You know us Air signs love Fire...fan those flames :)

K: I love your love for the Gems, cracking me up

Phil: He he...that's exactly right you little bull you.

Etc: I would say you need someone that is sensitive because dudes like me (Air signs: Gemini, Libra and Aquarius) will break your heart.

I'd suggest a water sign (Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces), but generally, Sags like assholes so that might be hard for you...just saying.

Ash: Two of the dearest people to me in the whole world are Pisces--one of them I live with and the other I talk to no less than 5 times a day and they still get lonely :) !!

Scarlet: Yeah, I think she's stupid, but I'd be her friend in a New York minute because who cares, she'd be the most fun ever--such an Aquarius thing--

3:00 PM  
Blogger Sean said...

Did I just virtually travel back to the year 1975? Hmmmmm.

Oh wait, now I see....I was born on the cusp of Sag and Scorpio. This explains my mad archer skillz, being hung like a horse AND my love of buttered lobster. Got it. Oh wait, those aren't personality traits. Sigh.

Ok, back to 2006....:-D

4:15 PM  
Blogger roosh said...

I read the analysis for every sign and they all describe me accurately. That means either I'm amazing or astrology is retarded. My guess is both.

4:25 PM  
Blogger V said...

Sean: Whatev, you're a total Scorp and you know it...don't give me that shit.

DCB: Well, your sign is both masculine and fem so it doesn't surprise me that you see a range of characteristics, however, I know one of them fits you a whole lot more than the others :)

PS I'm going to go w/ 80 percent of straight dudes think this stuff is bunk so hate away, I've heard it all!

4:29 PM  
Blogger Floyd said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:24 PM  
Blogger Floyd said...

Astrology is as credible as creationism. For every person you find that fits their sign, I'll show you one that doesn't. It's a science of circumstance.

Astrology survives because of a psychological mechanism - when a person searches for something, particularly something as vague and malleable as personality characteristics, they are very likely to find them. Additionally, they are likely to ignore information that contradicts the "proof" they hope to find. (See: Reasons for invading Iraq)

Example: I personally embody many of the characteristics that are prescribed to Gemini. Dan, born on the same day, is very different in many ways.

Another example: My friend D, a cancer, is the antithesis of your description of a Cancer - well, at least half of it, which is the point. No matter who you are, no matter what somebody is like, they'll find themselves accurately described SOMEWHERE in the description of their sign.

And I beg you, PLEASE don't give dating advice based on what month people are born. It's hard enough out there without some crazy broad rejecting me because I'm an air sign and therefore "insensitive".

8:46 PM  
Blogger Sean said...

"you're a total Scorp and you know it"

That's what my last 17 girlfriends said, so it must be true.

"And I beg you, PLEASE don't give dating advice based on what month people are born."

Are you trying to say the divorce explosion in the 70's had nothing to do with people taking dating advice based on what month people are born???

This theory can be summed up with six words:
Would you like fries with that?

The power of suggestion should never be misunderestimated.

Otherwise, go flip a flippin' coin or something.

9:21 PM  
Anonymous p said...

I love those zodiac descriptions! But maybe 'cause I'm a Pisces, and you were nothing but positive about us fishis :-)

9:32 PM  
Blogger c.c. heat said...

if you are so into astrology, shouldn't you be able to answer a trivia question about it?

10:36 PM  
Blogger V said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:58 AM  
Blogger V said...

Look haters, as I said, I know it's silly and seemingly arbitrary, but piss off because I like it.

Floyd: (Always the Gems are the drama queens) when I see you in a couple weeks, I'll explain the similarities you and Dan have and then you can disagree and then we'll take shots and not care because it's just fun.

P: Yeah, you fish are my people, love em.

CC Heat: Oh whatev, I totally answered many of those questions correctly...did you even answer any questions? I can't remember...I think you were there, right?

8:59 AM  
Anonymous Sally said...

I'm Aries. the best sign, duh.

9:00 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

I am 100% convinced that I am the way I am, because of my sign (scorpio).

Things get a little iffy when it comes to which signs belong together. Scorpios apparently are meant to be with other water signs - Pices being the best match - but the last person I dated that was a pices, ended up being quite the little shit. But the Cancer I dated was - and still is - a gem.

9:34 AM  
Blogger Madelyn said...

I'm with Sally. We come first for a reason.

9:34 AM  
Blogger Madelyn said...

V, do you own the Linda Goodman books? More than a weensy dated, but still totally great.

9:42 AM  
Blogger V said...

Madelyn: No, I don't and I haven't ready any in years, maybe it's time to revisit her, I remember really thinking it was interesting--

11:29 AM  
Blogger Bad at Life said...

I have no problem with astrology but I'm pretty sure that this description is way off.

"Librans usually have a lot of class and self respect".

Class and self respect are not terms that people usually use to describe me.

11:49 AM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

i'm a leo. i guess i fit the description. i tend to be emotionally vulnerable and like to paaartttay. malibu ken is a pisces and i'm not sure if we are match according to the zodiac. he does tend to be a loner sometimes....but somehow it works. i think it goes back to your idea of being friends and laying the foundation for respect and admiration.

too bad we didn't have this info ready on trivia night last week!

2:24 PM  
Blogger Bright Light District said...

This a very interesting post! The sign of the guy I met at weathymen is Libra and your description of his sign is very accurate! He's really a postive thinker! That's why I love him so much!

2:12 AM  

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