Monday, May 22, 2006

Make me a millionaire match WITH PHOTOS

So last week, I "joined" millionairematch.com after learning that Charlie Sheen uses its, er, services. While I haven't been able to spend as much time as I'd like trolling around and silently judging people, I do have a few observations/tips WITH PHOTOS for all my male millionaire readers who are looking for hotties, but need some help. And, all these lovely ladies are in the DC-metro area.


1. "Professional" photos are a bit much, particularly those CLEARLY taken in 1987. Look for a lady with a more contemporary edge, possibly less shoulder pads.



2. If she poses with a teddy bear, it’s creepy and opposite of sexy. Fuzzy "love me" photos, mean messy, car-on-fire breakup.



3. Appreciate the girl in her Hooters uniform. She's doing you a favor by not even pretending to care if you put it in her butt.


4. The MILF is pretty common around here, go for the one with the least hooker-like curb appeal...unless of course, you are into pleather.


5. If the girl knows how to pose, she probably knows other things that would be of interest...

6. It's a bad sign when the photo makes you really sad and uncomfortable.



7. Sometimes subtly is overrated, particularly when involves nude Asian girl in the bath.

And, Circle V's Millionaire Pick of the Week: Honestly Sweet

Her profile describes: Beauty and Brains is what you have here. Im fun loving. An open book, I love to learn. Im a glamour model, artist, poet, songwriter, hip dancer, designer. Outgoing. Love to travel. I love carnations! They smell sooo good.* White ones! measurements are 36DD/25/36. Open minded.




*Circle V note: Carnations have no smell.




26 Comments:

Blogger Ashburnite said...

I personally love "honestly sweet's" shirt- "Eye *heart* cock" very classy

1:53 PM  
Blogger V said...

Ash: Agreed, there are a couple other choice photos of her in other little outfits, too...stripper with a heart of gold, I'm sure.

2:13 PM  
Anonymous rcr said...

1. That's a man, right? I mean, it at least used to be a man.

3. Herpalicious.

4. I just threw up in my mouth

Last one - she looks like a munchkin or a troll doll, making face to face sex pretty much impossible.

2:20 PM  
Blogger Irina said...

oh my this is hilarious

2:21 PM  
Blogger V said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:29 PM  
Blogger V said...

RCR: Agreed, but #6 just kills me...so painful...

Irina: Glad you enjoyed, I should maybe feel bad for making fun, but meh.

2:30 PM  
Blogger Ashburnite said...

Is #5 going to the bathroom?

2:44 PM  
Blogger Sean said...

I thought the idea of being a millionaire was to avoid these skanks. They must of thought it was "turkishmillionairematch.com" they signed up for....You'll have look up the currency exchange rates, but I'm pretty sure the first date would have to be a McDonalds dollar menu smorgasborg. I'd trade adouble cheeseburger for the asian, but that's about it. Jeezus.

3:11 PM  
Blogger O-FACE said...

Crack all you want....I would do at least half of em....gold digger beeyatches.....

3:35 PM  
Blogger ajsmith said...

Umm, if I were a millionaire (cue Zero Mostel) I'd like to think I could do, umm, how shall I say this...

a wee bit better.

And I only make that assumption because, well, I do better now. And I'm broke. And attached. And not model-gorgeous or anything.

But hey, maybe it's tougher being a millionaire than I thought.

4:17 PM  
Blogger V said...

Ash: Some people are into that

Sean: I the double cheese on the dollar menu, cause otherwise...

o-face: I'm trying to fain shock and awe :)

AJ: You probably could, I think this website is for a particular "type" of male and female looking for "love."

4:24 PM  
Blogger Complacent Chase said...

Whoa!

4:52 PM  
Blogger Happy and Jaded said...

Nice post, V! Haha. Drinks this week?

6:54 PM  
Anonymous slingblade said...

Ah gots millions a' french fry pertater. duz thet count?

Thahnk uv the possombilertees, you, me, pertaters...

6:19 AM  
Blogger KassyK said...

Oh this just made my morning. I love the girl about to take a dump...she wants a man AND she can make a MEAN poo.

8:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW. That genetic mutant at the bottom is just terrifying. TERRIFYING.

8:46 AM  
Blogger DC Cookie said...

Yes, beauty and brains. We can see her 4.0 GPA up front and center...

11:09 AM  
Blogger Phil said...

The added bonus of #6 is it's a bass guitar she's playing.

12:53 PM  
Anonymous Sweet said...

wow. i can't believe these people are serious.

1:01 PM  
Blogger V said...

Glad you all are enjoying. I just got a creepy wink from some guys who says he is in love with me...internets sure can be scary...

1:15 PM  
Blogger Ashburnite said...

so how bad are the pics of the guys? I'm thinking about signing up. Find yourself a millionaire yet?

1:25 PM  
Blogger V said...

They are pretty bad, I haven't gone through them as well as the ladies. To be fair I should post those, too.

No millionaire for me, I just joined to make fun of people, cause you know, I'm a bitch...but an entertaining one at that--

1:46 PM  
Blogger Swamp Pundette said...

Wow, this made my day.

10:15 AM  
Blogger Asian Mistress said...

I want to join that site.


Hahaha j/k

1:47 PM  
Blogger Thicky said...

hilarous! I feel terrible for the rocker/hippie/crazy chick.

10:29 AM  
Anonymous hedonistic said...

HAHAHAH . . . Last year I found my boyfriend's profile on that site, dumped him, and added my own profile out of spite, just to demonstrate to him how quickly he could be replaced!

What a riot! I did meet a few very nice, very interesting people though. It's the same mix of kooks, players, and regular guys you'll meet anywhere else.

6:33 PM  

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