Thursday, May 04, 2006

FOX and friends does NOT help my hangover.

So it was one of those mornings when you wake up butt ass naked with hot pocket on your face, and all you want to do is drink your little Crystal Lite and watch some news.

See, Maime and I went to the Fenty thing last night (more on that in a bit) and then we went to Ozio. Yeah. It was one of those sloppy, sloppy nights. But, on my hungover morning, I watched some CNN, and after seeing Soledad try to wrap her mind around the idea of a “forever stamp,” I switched over to FOX (my mistake) and HOLY SHIT there was John Malkovich.

MY John Malkovich.

And, he was not bound, gagged or in a cage, you know, something that usually denotes being forced against your will. He was there to talk about his new movie (that I can’t wait to see) Art School Confidential.

Dear John Malkovich’s publicist: Fox and friends is for people who need instruction on how to put on a hat. They probably think art is something “fer them faggots” so probably, my little darling John should not be SUBJECTED to any morning show that does not involve an insightful interview with be Brian Kilmeade stating things like “I’m worried about you, man, you might be too into the character.”
Love, V
PS The enclosed picture of a snake interview gone wrong (or right) is real and includes two of the "journalists" to which you are subjecting John.
PPS Tell him I LOVE U 4-EVER .

It gets worse.
So they walk this brilliant actor over to the side of the set where they have three large notepads set-up. Brian made a sketch of his horses getting out of the barn when he was little and being home schooled on the farm—yeah, he’s so real, man. E.D. “look at these knockers” Hill drew a “Lilly” that looked like an angel with fire coming out of its chest (PS this whole art show and tell was her idea if that gives you any indication of how bad it was). And, Steve Doocy drew a perspective from his car of the highway because of gas prices. Yeah. Well, JM was forced to award Steve because the other sketches were actually making him dumber by looking at them.

Check it out on FOX’s website. It is train wreck god awful.

On Fenty (I wish!): vote for him.

And, can someone please tell me if his daddy is black or he is adopted because his mama is a whitie. Just curious! Don’t even think about commenting with any race statistics!!!


Blogger HomeImprovementNinja said...

My blog officially endorsed Fenty this morning. I won't go into the reasons on a comment, but mostly it was the taxes thing...that and the fact that I'm taller than him.

10:27 AM  
Blogger KassyK said...

Fenty actually called my boss the other day...They are apparently friends. Was my one exciting semi-celeb chat of the year. :-)

PS I love John M. as well...Portrait of a Lady, Dangerous Liasions...He is the best.

Malkovich Malkovich? Malkoviiiiiiccccch.

10:42 AM  
Blogger Lonnie Bruner said...

I hear they now make a vegetarian Hot Pocket---for people who don't want to eat meat, but DO want diarrhea.

10:42 AM  
Blogger V said...

HIN: Glad you agree. Two blogs have endorsed!

Kassy: Dangerous Liasons one of my top 5 movies. So sexy.

LB: Watch your mouth dissin my hot pockets! They do have veg and my new fav Lean Pockets.

11:08 AM  
Blogger Phil said...

How can you not enjoy a show where the blond gets molested by a snake as part of the broadcast?

I would watch that type of entertainment every day.

2:03 PM  
Blogger V said...

Phil: Good point, that is if you won't miss those brain cells. Or drink in the mornings. That would also help.

2:51 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

I will admit, it was painful to watch them explain the joke back to JM - but that is sort of the allure as I mentioned above.

Like a real-life "Morning Latte" with Will Ferrell & Cheri O'Teri

2:55 PM  
Blogger Complacent Chase said...

Wow, I can't believe John was actually on Fox & Friends. I think someone in his camp should get fired.

3:36 PM  
Blogger V said...

Phil: Love the Morning funny.

Chase: Let's hope so! I was totally disgusted.

5:20 PM  
Blogger O-FACE said...

Fenty mother and father are BOTH black. Sike, I don't know. Why can't we keep Williams for one more term...He's improved the city so much.... Fox hires cheerleaders and fratboys as anchors I swear. I mean the chica's are hot as hell but they don't have anything intelligent to say. I think the cohost...whats his nmae....oh his name is Brian--He's a f-ing Moron. But I guess this all fits in with party lines. Dumb people with channels to talk.

6:01 PM  
Blogger Rattler said...

For all FNC Haters Visit my Blog! Comics with thought Bubbles are Being made daily! Check it out!!! GReat place to See how crappy FNC is!

Comments are very Much Welcome!

8:39 AM  

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