Friday, March 31, 2006

Your God Doesn’t Care

If you thought those extra prayers for ol gramms would diverge The Lord’s attention away from the final four game long enough to make her ticker keep on keeping on another year, think again.

That’s right. Prayer don’t matter. According to these atheistic bastards.

The study found that patients who knew they were being prayed for suffer a noticeably higher rate of complications, according to the study, which monitored the recovery of 1,800 patients after heart bypass surgery in the US.

Of course, the problem with this study is that the people who think they can pray away their diabetes instead of eating right are the same people probably don’t believe in “scientists” and their liberal ideas based on “research” and some crazy “scientific theory” mumbo-jumbo.

My favorite quote from the article comes from “Dr.” David Stevens, executive director of the Christian Medical and Dental Associations (can I party with those guys?). He said scientists were not “equipped to measure the phenomenon” of prayer. So what does this guy have that the scientists don’t, a prayer-o-meter or super-fantastic-holy-holy-holy-miracle measuring stick?

He then asks: "Do we control God through prayer? Theologians would say absolutely not. God decides sometimes to intervene, and sometimes not."

Yikes! If you thought being rich and white was the only way to tell who God loved the most now it’s old, rich and white. No wonder all the leaders of our country are exactly the same—Jesus loves them the most!


Blogger Sean said...

But holy water DOES burn a vampire's skin. That's a scientific fact, along with Jesus being an uncle tom negro. Your post is proof of that. You know how many people think Jesus was white? Me neither, but I'll bet it's a lot. Probably the same number of people who think he was God or whatever.

4:21 PM  
Blogger V said...

Of course Jesus was/is white. What are you even talking about?!

Hello, have you even ever seen renaissance paintings...and they would know cause they were like there when he died. In like the early days when everyone was going to hell.

4:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Old, rich and white, huh?
Guess I'm screwed! ha ha

Since Hispanics are the only ethnic group that seem to name their kids that Jesus...I think Jesus must have been Hispanic.

5:13 PM  
Blogger A Unique Alias said...

I saw this article. I didn't dig the study. A bunch of people were given lists of first names and a last initials, and their prayers were supposed to make a difference.

Despite the face that I'm agnostic, there are certain phenomena that aren't readily explained. I believe that meditation and the like have the potential to have a measurable positive impact on malady.

I doubt, though, that any positive energy generated through any means (prayer, meditation, etc) has an impact on a string of letters. The strings of letters didn't have surgery.

2:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DCB and I are going into deep solitude and praying that Unique Alias becomes an Alpha once again.

8:09 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

They beat me to it...I was going to publish my own article titled "Prayer isn't going to help you, so go ahead and die already, you bastard".

My article focused on the fact that everyone is worthless and living in a God-less void.

It was to be sold in hospitals everywhere.

Oh, well.

8:58 PM  
Blogger V said...

Chase: I'm pretty screwed too--

AUA: I thought it was more funny than anything. Makes for good headlines.

Anon: Hum...who could you be?

Phil: That article sounds very comforting...I wouldn't give up the dream.

8:42 AM  

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