Monday, March 20, 2006

2006: The Year of Mediocrity

V Note: Here is another installment by Jack Serpentine. Enjoy! P.S. Aside from general google image searches, the hot picture of JC in boots is from her site via Jane magazine.

Maybe it’s because I’m bitter that my bracket is not working out at all, but has anyone else noticed the unbelievable triumph of mediocrity? I’m not just talking about how our president is a failed businessman who spent the majority of his life drunk and coked out of his mind before waking up and deciding he should lead the free world. I’m not even talking about a world in which March sees teams like Bradley, George Mason and Wichita State playing in the Sweet 16, while basketball royalty Kansas, North Carolina, and Kentucky watch from home. And I’m honestly not even that upset that William Hung enjoyed an overextended 15 minutes…way overextended. No.

What finally pushed me over the edge is hearing that Ana Marie Cox has landed a gig with Time Magazine. This comes on the heels of me drinking my way through the news that Jessica Cutler is working with HBO on a series about her “exploits.” I mean, I have nothing against these girls. Truth be told I think they’re pretty hot and certainly above average on the old intelligence scale. But Time and HBO? Really? These two “made it” in DC by making snarky boner jokes (in Ana Marie’s case) and by f’ing low to mid-level bores on the Hill (in Jessica’s case). Then they both wrote books that should only be read over a loudspeaker in a dark room to sleep-deprived detainees in Gitmo. I assure you, if we did this we’d get drawn maps and an armed escort to whatever cave Osama is hiding in.

Now I hate being thrust into the hater category. And I love Wonkette, especially with the two new dudes that write it. I also admit to being more than a little turned on by Jessica’s Playboy spread. I genuinely admire that both had the balls to take advantage of the breaks they’ve gotten. But come on. Please don’t let these two work for prestigious organizations like Time and HBO; at least not yet. After a few more years, and the possibility of gathering more wisdom and talent, perhaps these two should have a shot, but not now. I debuted here bemoaning the Baby Boom generation. Now I have to turn on my own. Believe me, we can do better than this. I’ll even say that these two may have the requisite skills, but they’re not developed enough yet for this type of fame.

Instead of rewarding mediocrity, we need to spend time developing actual skills and truly rewarding talent and wisdom. Is this too much to ask?


Blogger Lonnie Bruner said...

Admit it: half of the female blogger world secretly wants to be Jessica Cutler.

Christ, she only had a blog for like 3 weeks back in '04 and now she's got her own friggin' TV show. She could've done a lot worse.

4:11 PM  
Blogger V said...

LB: I think you're kinda missing the point of the post but whatev. So, I actually wouldn't want to be JC. But, hell yes she could have done a lot worse and frankly, I'm glad she's around because she adds needed snark and drama to an often boring blog world.

4:20 PM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

very interesting post. i think ana marie cox is very talented and is positioning herself as a writer. whether you think it's mediocre or not is up to interpretation. i always found Wonkette to be witty and well written, which you don't find on all blogs.

as for jessica cutler, the only reason i don't like her path to whatever career she is shaping is that now all young interns who think they're hot and come to DC with nominal writing skills will think that they too can score a book deal. and there are too many great writers out there not getting recognized.

8:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Long ago when realizing that JC was sorely deficient as to the horse face my prurient interests quickly were thus deflated.

As for Anna Marie, although the equine visage expresses its existence in some small quantity, her slightly more than vague soccer mom aura immediately negates any thoughts of possible pokability.

9:31 AM  
Anonymous rcr said...

AMC used to be a real journalist, with the American Prospect or one of those similar publications. So it's not like she doesn't have the real experience.

2:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's what should truly bother you. Cutler either made it all up, or she's a hooker being rewarded for breaking the law. She didn't just get a blender. Her blog admitted she was taking cash for taking in the ass.

3:29 PM  
Anonymous lonniebruner said...

It's not like she fucked a Senator ...

7:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AMC was fired from all her real journalism jobs. She may be "positioning herself" however, but she is still a mule in horse harness. JC may be a hooker/slut/whatever but at least she has some interesting stories. Blogging is supposed to be fun. Stop taking it so seriously. Both of these girls got really lucky. Timing is everything. But if it hadn't been them, it would have been some other chicks in their place.

9:14 AM  
Anonymous DNICE said...

"Please don’t let these two work for prestigious organizations like Time and HBO"

Who do you think is reading this? It's just us DC blog schlubs here.

12:50 PM  
Blogger J. Serpentine said...

Thanks to everyone for reading my little diatribe. My overall point is that these two lack the requisite talent and experience to be commenting on life in DC. Neither one is actually a good writer, although maybe with more work they could be. Both of their books were BOMBS. At last count Ana Marie, who most of you think is the most talented of the two, only sold 5,000 copies of her book. She also got completely panned by reviewers. This is after a $250,000 advance. She conned a publisher out of a quarter mil to vomit up a bunch of tired cliches about Washington (Really, this town is like high school? That's so original. I've only heard it from EVERYONE EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK that I've lived here.) So why does she get rewarded with a lucrative job at Time? Who does she even speak for? Thirty-somethings who haven't actually done anything worthwhile? I'm all for supporting bloggers, but there is more talent out there than this.

I do totally agree that these two just happened to be in the right place at the right time, and I accept that. The point remains though, that mediocrity is definitely being rewarded. This is the point of my little post. You see examples of it everywhere, and it just kind of fascinates me.

To dnice: I realize this measley little post probably won't make it to the brass at Time and HBO. That's not the intent. I just wanted to vent a little bit.

And for the record, I unabashedly love DC. I think it's an interesting town with thousands of people doing important work. I know New York is amazing, and sometimes I miss the steak in the midwest, but this place is great. Poking fun at it is not a crime, but it's nothing new and it seems to be the only opinion that interests the outside world. That's something I just can't quite figure out, but AMC and JC are certainly riding it for all it's worth.

2:36 PM  
Anonymous Obvious Guy said...

I don't think a column at Time/book deal/tv series is necessarily a reward. No one looks at these two and thinks, "How can we reward them for their brilliance?" They look at them and think, "How can we make money off them?" And since people are blogging/talking about them to such and extent, publishers think that they must be worth talking about.

3:05 PM  

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