Friday, January 06, 2006

Sleep with a lawyer.

Phone calls in the middle of the night scare the shit out of me. And, while it’s usually just Steve in a cab coming home from Nation, or some other unmentionable nonsense, last night was the bad version.

My brother—who I have been posting a lot about lately—called me at 3:30 a.m. He and my cousin were drunk in Weatherford, Oklahoma and were pulled over by a cop. Nate was scared shitless.

Fortunately, there was a lawyer in bed next to me. He recently remarked how it is only in his profession that people can say to you “I hate your fucking guts.” He explained, “I could shovel shit for a living and people must respect it, but because I practice law (for disabled vets, actually) people can just call me an asshole for no reason.”

That is true, yes. Anyway, he saved the day by telling Nate his rights (or lack thereof) and the boys got off with a warning—due also in part to getting a nice cop—rare in OK, I can assure you.

So, ladies and gentleman, they may be assholes, but I really recommend you sleep with one as regularly as possible.

10 Comments:

Blogger I-66 said...

I badly wanted to bring home the Commonwealth's Attorney that was on my old reckless case. Too bad she was married...

11:55 AM  
Blogger HomeImprovementNinja said...

As a lawyer, I agree with your recommendation. Fornication sharpens our legal skillz.

12:01 PM  
Blogger Asian Mistress said...

Double the protection - double the fun?

Yeah that was a long shot joke there.

12:41 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

Asian...why don't you sit the next couple of plays out... ;)

1:26 PM  
Blogger Asian Mistress said...

I know I am making very bad jokes today Phil.

I have shamed the playaz...

2:35 PM  
Blogger Dan said...

Sweet... where do I sign up. I knew there had to be a good reason why I went to law school.

3:15 PM  
Blogger V said...

AM: I liked it :)

Dan: It's certainly a better pick-up line than...so you want me to show you how to outline later or what?

4:15 PM  
Anonymous cjt said...

Can you set me up with Harriet Miers? I'm desparate, for free legal advice too.

8:36 AM  
Blogger V said...

ctj: For you, of course. I'm on it, then you can get on it...HOT.

10:09 AM  
Anonymous cjt said...

Great expectations! Tell her I hope we can repeatedly come together in her chambers on a bi-partisan level playing field and trade tit for tat reaching a mutual consentual quorum.

Then I will blog about it, write a book and appear shamelessly in Playgirl.

11:26 AM  

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