Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Be my dick?


I was watching Mighty Aphrodite just now, and I was thinking of how much I love Woody Allen. From Annie Hall to Bullets Over Broadway to Anything Else, he really does it for me (and it's not just because i love the Jews).

This made me think of other things I love in people and particularly, the darling dicks in my life…so I composed a list a la Sound of Music as these are my favorite things…in people:
Friends and/or Lovers:

Loyal to the point of absurdity
Always ready for a rowdy time
Understanding if rowdy time is not possible
Likes to dance dirty, on top of bars
Likes to make friends
Always up for a drink
Understands my madness and embraces its consequences
Loves Woody Allen, PT and Wes Anderson,
Embraces stereotypes as an equal opportunity comedic relief
Has no qualms about being a hater
Will tell me that yes, I need to lose 10
Hates who I hate, loves who I love
Is supportive but realistic
Likes drunk karaoke the best
Will sing drunk karaoke in the street…maybe in the evening
Cares little for God, common morality or lines people we do not know draw
Will dance with me drunk
Love pop music no matter the cost
Prefer beach to all other alternatives
Prefers drunk beach to all other alternatives
Forgives easily
Forgets easily
Has that I'll drop anything when you need me attitude
Is enthusiastic about the same shit I am enthusiastic about
Listens to the same shit different day no matter what
Will be there when I am wrinkled without question
Loves strip clubs
Loves politics or at least will listen to my moderately educated rants
Believes me that I mean no harm
Does not play with my dispensation toward a guilty reaction
Understands that callus means an indifference toward the situation, never the person
Has never judged my kissing girls, puking in my own bed, forgetting major parts of the evening, being a bitch for no reason and just giving a good slap on the ass
Thinks my love of Cuba is charming and passion for its music tolerable
Won’t mind my rendition of several Prince classics
Knows how to listen
Will always speak how they feel no matter the cost (which is zero cost from me)
Understands in their very being the value of (or at least my obsession with) Melrose, L Word, Bridget (1 only), Love Actually, Rushmore, West Wing on Bravo, Big Lebowski, Anne of Green Gables I, II, III, Sin City, Little Women (any version), Dangerous Liasons, Pride and Prejudice and every other freaking sweet movie I cannot exist without
Doesn’t mind how much I love to laugh at whatever decimal level seems appropriate
Knows I am loyal to a fault
Appreciates my Aquarius tendencies
Will never sell me up a river for some new piece of ass/dick/pussy
Can tolerate my need to please and fix EVERYTHING
Can always laugh with me or at me, it doesn’t make a difference as long as I get to laugh, too.

So this post is absurd, I'll grant you, but it is nice for me to reflect on what makes those dicks that I love above all other dicks.

2 Comments:

Blogger chicgirl said...

i like your post - the underlying theme - loyal, accepting, honest people win in your world! I wish there were more in the world

10:17 AM  
Anonymous cjt said...

You left out---Will never notice or mention the mystery bump on the head in the morning.

5:00 PM  

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