Hello Capitol File! or I hope you read better than you smell
Whew. It was DC star-studded madness last night at the premiere party for the third magazine in the DC style and fashion genre, Capitol File. This magazine is a little different because it is published by the “young and sexy” Jason Binn. He has also published other successful magazines (ASPEN PEAK, GOTHAM, HAMPTONS, and LOS ANGELES CONFIDENTIAL) and is known in certain celebrity circles for being a bit of a publicity hound, I guess.
The event was at the newly remodeled Four Seasons hotel in three of their ballrooms. It was really cute because they had a photographer set up when you entered (just like New York!) where they would take your picture like you were a hobnobbing socialite (just like New York!) and then they will publish the photos in their mag (just like New York!) .
I was first struck by the number of really, really skinny tan girls in boring black dresses. I was then struck by the number of skinny old women in inappropriate dresses. I was then struck by the amount of booze I was about to score. Nasty.
Because I am very hung over from all the martinis and champagne I guzzled, I’m just going to list what I thought was cool and uncool.
Cool: Meeting Wolf Blitzer
Uncool: Wolf’s hair more gray than piercing truth and justice-seeking hot white as appears on TV.
Cool: Free food.
Uncool: Free food made room smell like wet dog. Many people drinking martinis despite smell. People maybe have never smelled wet dog, unknowing as to what stench is permeating their new Nordstrom purchases.
Cool: Seeing how short Joe Pantoliano of Sopranos and Bad Boys 1 & 2 fame really is.
Really cool: Hearing Joey Pants say to attractive friend “I think we can get fucking out of here now.”
Cool: Feeling vindicated that I did see Bill Bellamy and was not being a stupid white girl that thinks some black guy looks like some famous black guy.
Uncool: Standing in line with Bill Bellamy for twenty minutes so I could get another martini.
Cool: Seeing Terry Mcauliffe for the third time drunk
Uncool: Not having May there to slap his ass or me taking his cigar.
Cool: Seeing Al Sharpton and George Stepanopolus.
Uncool: They both left as we were walking in
Cool: Looking like after work ass and still looking okay as people in DC don’t know how to dress.
Uncool: How people dress in DC.