Nice Guy? It's okay.
There is a stereotype out there that girls do not like nice guys. I am pretty anti-“girls are this and guys are that” because few things are gender specific in my experience.
However, I was talking to a friend today about a guy she met on Match.com. Anyway, my friend is on the relationship track—as in she just wants a relationship followed by a marriage.
She: So I have seen this guy twice and we’re going out tomorrow.
V: Cool, is he cute?
She: Yeah, he’s cute and I like him okay…
V: But, what?
She: I don’t know, he’s just…really…
And so it begins. I wouldn’t think much of it, but two of my very good DC friends have given me similar stories recently. Perhaps at the beginning of a relationship conflict can be mistaken for chemistry? Perhaps some girls who do not have to work at something believe that it is not worth having? There is something to be said for that asshole chemistry, but long term it won’t go anywhere.
The good news for nice guys is that I am seeing them win recently. My girl May started dating a very nice guy just for sex. He liked her and she likes sex. It worked well, but now she is just as into him and he is into her (basically). His nice guy approach worked when complimented by his persistent nature (He did go to HLS after all).
The best example, however, is a very good friend of mine who had about a 15 year history of dating assholes. However, she met a wonderful guy who treated her great. She naturally was super mean to him and never saw it going anywhere. Flash forward less than a year later and they are moving in together.
Nice guys out there: Please don’t change. Just be yourself and be persistent. If she doesn’t start treating you how you deserve within the first few weeks then move on, she’s just not ready for the you, the nice guy.