Join the Club?
Today, I did some last minute shopping at the Touchstone art gallery where I bought the bridesmaid gift for my sixth (yes, sixth) wedding. You should check it out, great stuff.
I am returning home for the second time in three weeks tomorrow (a six year record), and I am once again saying good-bye to one of my best friends who is getting married. Obviously, she is still going to be a dear friend, but I have noticed a change in all my friends once they take the marital plunge. It feels like all of a sudden, they aren't in my club anymore. They've got a new club, a better one, one that makes their mom and dad really happy and shows they are emotionally mature and have life all figured out.
Moreover, there is this division as I grow older that is basically divided between the young people who go out, go crazy and rely on friendships versus the coupled people who maybe I see once every month or so and just like me because I tell stories about tequila body shots off my roommate's tits and the like while they talk enthusiastically about cool blenders and measuring for carpet.
I am, of course, happy my friends are happy, but it is hard to connect sometimes when people's lives seem so different. Not to mention there is this large finality about marriage. There it is with the "I do," life is sort of laid out there for you go along with as you are inextricably tied to this other person to which you have fully committed your life. It's just startling and strange to me (which I guess is why I am not married).
One of my dear friends is having some serious relationship problems. And one of the best feelings I can think of having in a long time is when she called me yesterday to talk about her problems and seek my advice and support. This friend and I haven't really been keeping up due to her serious relationship being so involved. Now that it is on the rocks, she is calling me twice a day and e-mailing to discuss every little thing. It's great to be back in her life again (despite the sad circumstances), and I am struck at how much our relationship can change just because she is more alone now and needs a friend. It is only those people in my club that make me feel like our friendship has any real value aside from just chatting and keeping up.
So all I can really do is hope that there is a time in my life when I am ready for that long walk down the aisle when leaving the club to make that kind of commitment will make perfect sense. It seems that is the course of life, and I am just waiting to wake up and be ready for it.
But, in the meantime, tequila shot anyone?