Thursday, June 30, 2005

Business or Pleasure, Dude?



I am about to hop on a flight to Los Angeles, California. While I enjoy work trips usually, I am really excited about this one. Not only have I never been to the sunshine state (or is that Florida), I also am going to hang out a few days after with some friends and maybe finally get my hit HBO series off the ground. Or maybe get my own WB series a la Reba.

Anyway, in honor of my favorite Los Angeles movie, ever, The Big Lebowski, here are some excellent quotes that I am stealing from various websites (far out, man):



God damn you Walter! You fuckin' asshole! Everything's a fuckin' travesty with you, man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam? What the FUCK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the fuck are you talking about?

Walter: I told those fucks down at the league office a thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!
Donny: What's Shabbos?
Walter: Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit
[shouts]
Walter: DONT FUCKING ROLL! SHOMER SHABBOS!
*
Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.


The Jesus: What's this day of rest shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man - ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Wooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!


Jesus: You ready to be fucked man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up.
The Dude: Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
Jesus: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
The Dude: Jesus.
Jesus: You said it man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
Walter: Eight year-olds, Dude.



Tony the Chauffeur: So he says "My wife's a pain in the ass. She's always busting my friggin' agates. My daughter's married to a real loser bastard. And I got a rash so bad on my ass, I can't even sit down. But you know me. I can't complain."
The Dude: Fuckin' A, man. I got a rash, man.

*

Bunny Lebowski: I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars.
Brandt: Ah hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.
Bunny Lebowski: Brandt can't watch, though, or he has to pay a hundred.
Brandt: Ah haha. That's marvelous.
The Dude: Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine.



Maude Lebowski: Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Uh, is that what this is a picture of?
Maude Lebowski: In a sense, yes. My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
The Dude: Oh yeah?
Maude Lebowski: Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.
The Dude: Johnson?

11 Comments:

Blogger roosh said...

what does The Dude call white russians in the movie? i completely forgot

10:46 AM  
Blogger cuff said...

Caucasians, DCB.

My favorite movie of all time.

12:13 PM  
Blogger Kathryn Is So Over said...

OK FINALLY. I need you guys to help me settle an argument I had in April (yes, I hold a grudge) but have not found definitive proof for my position. Yessssss, watching the movie would be the obvious choice, but I haven't done that either. OK.

An acquaintance suggested that Tara Reid aka Mrs. Bunny Lebowski gets her toe chopped off in the film, and that at one point they pan across her feet while she's driving and you see the missing toe. I (overly excitedly) disagreed, saying no, they pan across her feet (while she's speeding her red convertible screaming along to "Viva Las Vegas") to show that she is NOT missing her green-polished pinkie toe, and that it is in fact the German girl (played by Aimee Mann) whose toe was sacrificed in the interest of getting the ransom, as is revealed in the diner scene.

Who's right?

12:28 PM  
Blogger Cleveland Park Men's Club said...

Funny post.

I think I am ready to link you now, V. Bygones.

See you on Monday at the CPMC 4th of July Party? Will you be back in time?

12:56 PM  
Blogger Rock Creek Rambler said...

Kathryn, you are correct. They show that the it is indeed the nihlist girl missing the toe, leading to this exchange:

Nihilist #2: His girlfriend gave up her toe!
Nihilist #3: She though we'd be getting million dollars!
Nihilist #2: Iss not fair!
Walter Sobchak: Fair! WHO'S THE FUCKING NIHILIST HERE! WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF FUCKING CRYBABIES?

4:37 PM  
Blogger Kathryn Is So Over said...

THANK YOU, RCR. You have no idea. I even threw something I got so outraged. Oh, somebody's getting an email....

4:55 PM  
Blogger V said...

DCB: Caucasians heal all.
Mass: Mine, too. CHeck for 69 cents for half and half...so good.
K: Excellent triva. They actually have big lebowski triva nights...one question: what is the color of the dude, walter and donny's bowling balls?
CPMC: Sounds good, whiskey on me next time, brotha. I would, of course, love to swing by, but I won't be back in DC until July 10th.
Underused: Excellent reference.

6:38 PM  
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