Business or Pleasure, Dude?
I am about to hop on a flight to Los Angeles, California. While I enjoy work trips usually, I am really excited about this one. Not only have I never been to the sunshine state (or is that Florida), I also am going to hang out a few days after with some friends and maybe finally get my hit HBO series off the ground. Or maybe get my own WB series a la Reba.
Anyway, in honor of my favorite Los Angeles movie, ever, The Big Lebowski, here are some excellent quotes that I am stealing from various websites (far out, man):
God damn you Walter! You fuckin' asshole! Everything's a fuckin' travesty with you, man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam? What the FUCK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the fuck are you talking about?
Walter: I told those fucks down at the league office a thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!
Donny: What's Shabbos?
Walter: Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit
Walter: DONT FUCKING ROLL! SHOMER SHABBOS!
Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
The Jesus: What's this day of rest shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man - ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Wooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!
Jesus: You ready to be fucked man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up.
The Dude: Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
Jesus: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
The Dude: Jesus.
Jesus: You said it man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
Walter: Eight year-olds, Dude.
Tony the Chauffeur: So he says "My wife's a pain in the ass. She's always busting my friggin' agates. My daughter's married to a real loser bastard. And I got a rash so bad on my ass, I can't even sit down. But you know me. I can't complain."
The Dude: Fuckin' A, man. I got a rash, man.
Bunny Lebowski: I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars.
Brandt: Ah hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.
Bunny Lebowski: Brandt can't watch, though, or he has to pay a hundred.
Brandt: Ah haha. That's marvelous.
The Dude: Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine.
Maude Lebowski: Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Uh, is that what this is a picture of?
Maude Lebowski: In a sense, yes. My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
The Dude: Oh yeah?
Maude Lebowski: Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.
The Dude: Johnson?