Sunday, May 22, 2005

Your Life as a Lesbian

Gay girls have always been a trouble area for me because I have never had any as friends. I have several close gay guy friends as well as friends of many ethnic/economic/religious backgrounds. But, I have always felt insecure about not having lesbian friends.

I have been told by lesbian acquaintances that I should not feel bad because "lesbians are really cliquey with other lesbians." But that's not really good enough for me. It's not that I think lesbians are wildly different than "everyone else," but I imagined that an "urban family" made up of many lesbian women would at least be somewhat different that other mixes of people.

I have carried this guilt for a while. However, Showtime On Demand has changed all that. This morning, I watched the season finale of "The L Word." After watching two seasons in full over the past few months, I feel a little more comfortable with what it may mean to be a lesbian according to lesbian Hollywood writers.

For those straight girls like me out there with little lesbian contact, or anyone else that may be curious about how a few Hollywood lesbian writers want us to see being a lesbian, I offer a brief glimpse into your life if you were a lesbian on the L Word:

You are hot. Fully, fully hot. You live in LA and love it. When you want coffee you go to local lesbian coffee shop the Planet and talk about your life over a scone and herbal tea. When you want random hook-up sex, go to Milk, the sexy lesbian club. You have a great circle of friends who care a lot about you and prefer to be / know about every aspect of your life. You are either very successful and have a serious girlfriend, or you are young and looking for love. You also really like to talk. You like to talk to your lesbian friends about other girls you have a crush on and what that means to you, your friend and all her friends. You have really, really great clothes. There are several places that you have hot lesbian sex. You also love pussy. You may own a strap-on. You are probably predisposed to like girls, however, you have a friend (Alice) who is bisexual and "sees people not anatomy." There is drama, drama, drama.

Okay, so the L Word has taken a lot of heat about it not "really showing" what it's like to be a lesbian. But, just as being straight and single does not guarantee your life is like "Sex and the City" (sigh), I know that lesbians' lives are not all like the ladies of "The L Word." However, both shows did have some interesting insights. I certainly learned a lot about sex, friendships and relationships when in your thirties from Sex and the City. I also think the L Word is more than just hot lesbians having hot lesbian sex with straight plotlines.

While the dearly beloved Sex and the City had about as much emotional depth as a paper plate, the L Word tries to get you more into the characters and their hang-ups. It's nice because some lesbians are very adjusted and ready for partners, whereas others are really fucked up and emotional train wrecks. There are issues of which partner will give birth, what sex toys to use, how your parents react to coming out, the line between friendship and attraction, the connectedness of the lesbian community and how some people do perceive lesbians just as a way to make straight men hot.

The show is what it is, but I would really recommend all you lesbian-lites check it out before hitting the Betty or Heart show.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This brings to mind my Momstwo female miniature poodles. I will write a screenplay and submit it to you for review.

3:46 PM  
Blogger V said...

That would be great, as long as they are lesbian poodles. I think movies about straight poodles are really overdone.

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Infact they were very lesbian poodles but they both had litters of pups so maybe the other lez dogs might have called them breeders behind their backs. I don't know for sure really. Not too up on all that myself either. I did appreciate their open minds though, they were both dominant and submissive equally.

I'm hoping that this production could be run on Comedy Central after a showing of the movie Dog Show.

6:25 PM  
Blogger V said...

I would say after "Best in Show" or Triumph's new hit show. Either way, I couldn't agree more...

8:06 PM  
Anonymous pink elephant said...

I must give my props to the *L Word* as has shed light on many aspects of that community due to the fact that I as well really have no L girlfriends and have not really been exposed to it through life circumstances. Its not that I am biased or discriminatory, thats just the way its been. PS: I think Angelina Jolie should make a guest thats hot

8:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Once again here's another straight woman making lesbian aspersions toward Angelina Jolie. I have run into this before and more than just once.

I have yet to figure out the poodle experience of my childhodd and now this....

9:10 PM  
Blogger Natty G said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:09 PM  
Blogger Natty G said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:10 PM  
Blogger Natty G said...

I've had several lesbian friends. All are great people, but I don't think you are missing out on much by not having any lesbian friends, simply for the sake of their lesbianism. A lesbian is just like any other woman, except for the fact that she likes to go down on other chicks...

10:38 PM  
Blogger Patrick J. Fitzgerald said...

I have seen both seasons of the L Word and I think it is probably a very realistic depiction of the L Life, right up their with the other top notch Hollywood masterpieces like Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place, Dynasty and Knot's Landing. Bully for Tinseltown! Bi-the-way - Have you checked out Queer As Folk?

PS: I kinda hoped Jenny was making the final cut, she ruins the show IMHO.

10:16 AM  
Blogger V said...

I haven't seen Queer as Folk, but I have enjoyed 6 feet under recently. Jenny is a tough character for me because I know people like her so it's interesting to see how they develop the writer that takes herself sooo seriously. However, no one can be worse than Tonya (geeeez).

I am going to maybe do a little summary post of my likes and dislikes about the show / characters soon (for example I LOVE Shane, they do such a nice job with her)

1:13 PM  

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