Monday, April 18, 2005

DC Blog Clog

Ah, the ruckus in DC's blog land these days! As best I can tell, there appears to be several young-ish, DC people who are forming various blog clicks.

It is a bit like high school, but not necessarily bad because after working in politics a bit, I can guarantee you high school is more mature. Anyway, I am going to take the high school analogy WAY too far, so here's a summary of the DC blogs I most enjoy, and listen, it's a fucking joke, I don't want you assholes taking it literally.

The Players:

Washington Socialites--The hot chicks: Their moms let them drink, boys can come to sleepovers, they're snaking vodka from dad's cabinet and filling with water, they smoke and wear slutty clothes and these bitches put out!
The heart of this blog war seems to start with the gossip blog Washington Socialites who consist of several females including Kelly Ann Collins (lovely ring leader), Windy Shepard (smiley fun girl everyone likes at parties), Barbie K (don't know how that unfortunate nickname came about, perhaps because she's blonde?), California and Poppers (a social duo who are apparently hot) and then the socialite reporter (pretty solid whit and keeps the site up and running). Keeping it real is the mysterious Lukeduke (he's not actually mysterious, but let's just pretend) who has a fun persona on the site and also a nice run-down of DC clubs. So, they apparently go out a lot. They also read. Combine these two things into a fairly interesting blog that chronicles nightlife, popular culture and the hot click in DC (not Bush twins/ Smith Point hot, but you get the idea. Also there are tinges of friendship (See Katharine Graham meets Paris Hilton...Jesus, that's awful).


Up All Night Jane --Almost cool girl: The girl that has been friends with the hot chicks for a long time so she gets invited to their birthday parties and sometimes gets to sit with them at football games, but they talk about her behind her back. I sure she's nice, but everyone is nice...you honestly just like her so you can copy her Spanish vocab.
As a spin-off from the Washington Socialites there is Up All Night Jane who appears to be paragraph indention challenged, but does provide a lot of insight into her "hot, DC area hipster/social queen/whatever you call it" world. Jane is an Aquarius (as am I) so I have to cut her some slack and hope she polishes the site up a bit. A little less "lol-he he" a little more "up all night." Oy, it's so Plath it makes one long for an oven.

Cleveland Park Men's Club (CPMC)--The cool-ish guys: Okay, the real cool guys don't have time for a blog, but these guys go to the parties and the slightly less cool girls totally want them...they pop collars, run for student council and one of them starts on the basketball team. All virgins except basketball player, (did chunky cheerleader).
Cleveland Park Men's Club, which I rather enjoy. As I said in a recent post there: it reminds me of two things:
"1) That scene from "Fight Club" where the Brad Pitt character says "We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need."
2) In terms of blog haters or whatever that disagree with your club, I am also reminded of a recent trip I took to Cuba where I happened to be hanging out with some gents from the British Scotch and Cigar club who were nice enough to buy a young American chic lots of scotch and cigars. These men had wives and lovers back in the UK, but they really lived for trips like the one to Cuba, particularly because they went with their male friends and had a real comradery that would have been nearly impossible with other females (as welcome as they are). The enjoyment of hot, hot Cuban prostitutes may have also made it a little awkward with women, but that's neither here nor there."

DC Bachelor-- The jackass: He's got the anarchist shirt, makes-out on overnight speech tournament trips, has several girls with dyed black hair into him, but he's banging a cheerleader, he's like, totally complicated.
The real instigator in this cornucopia of capricious commentary would be the DC Bachelor who apparently was once a friend of Socialites and others, but he and his buddies have recently taken a "Haters" persona, probably akin to the Ziggy Star Dust or Mcphisto (Or probably not). DC bach and CPMC are truly the masculine yin and yang of the DC blog world. I actually find them both to be lighthearted and good reading. I will def give it to the Bach that he keeps it the most "real" with his biting commentary on social scenes (not necessarily all accurate) and funny spoofs on dating, news and life.

The Cleveland Park Junior League-- The smart girls: When you get to know them, you like them, but before that it's "that girl" in senior AP English who is actually the smartest person in class, but she knows it, and keeps bringing up points that NO ONE was interested in and then keeps talking and usually arguing with the teacher.
I really, really wanted to like these chicks (Lady Jane, the Duchess and the Governess) are smart and quite witty ("the shit that comes out of her mouth"). They are positioning themselves to be a sort of answer to the CPMC, which fine, but there answer appears to be more whiney than clever. Their actual postings are fine, a little pedantic, but hey, it's DC. However, every time I read their blog comments they post on their other sites, I puke a little in my mouth.
I like them just throwin those brass balls onto the table and challenging the gents, but alas, they are coming out swinging, but with no real purpose. The whole thing (sadly) stinks of smug and so I can merely wait and hope that the banter becomes a lot less smart people trying really hard to impress other smart people. Oh, and they drink, too, but I need more from these little tarts.


The Drama:
As the true gumshoe of the blog world, Dcist.com recently wrote about these "blog wars" (stop the fucking presses) and threw in some sex to spice up a blog story, which is one of the spicier of late. Anyway, it's better than doing fucking work.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, the drama!

4:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are on Washington Socialites.

4:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

clique. CLIQUE. not "click."

5:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very astute observations and pigeon holing! :D

7:10 PM  
Blogger KAC said...

Ring leader of the insanity? *blush*

8:57 AM  
Blogger Ethan Wiggum said...

entertaining. perhaps a little too succinct for accuracy, but entertaining nonetheless.

6:05 PM  
Blogger Luke said...

Mystery is the esscence of illusion, and illusion is the essence of an enigma.

6:32 PM  
Blogger Blue Fish, Red Pond said...

Not my scene. I prefer Seeking Irony and DCeiver

2:17 PM  

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