Monday, April 11, 2005

100 Fuck Failure

We also played the 100 fuck game. This is where you judge and identify 100 people you would fuck. First one to 100 gets a medal or something. So, not only did we not even get close to 100, I don't think anyone broke 30. And, do you know why? Because DC is full, full of ugly fucking people. I'm going to hate here a minute. It's like they took every pair of Old navy khakis and just dumped them on the streets for the office-asses of so many chicks. My dear friend Tiff has a fantastic bit about the DC ass because, let's face it, it's big and it's everywhere. Not only that, but the women here are prudes. You have to get these uptight, fly-over state bitches shitty-ass-faced-drunk to get to like first.

Trust me, I am a functional alcoholic, and I see it everyday. As for the dudes, my main complaint is they are basically all short. Now, I know some hot, short guys, a good co-worker of mine Jus is the perfect example, but i am talking about what must be a statistically significant number of more short dudes here than anywhere else in America. I'm 5'9 and usually in heels so it's a little strange to ALWAYS feel tall. This a goddamn city of Napoleons. I am not even kidding. While that may make sense considering the context of this city (NYC=Money; Miami=Sex; DC=Power), it still makes for a poor showing when one wants to find 100 people they would theoretically fuck, or just one that they would actually fuck. I love DC, but come for the architecture, because as Steve said today, "what's with the people here, we might as well be in Columbus, Ohio for Christ's sake."

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